you: tries to roast me with a lame yo mama joke
me: looks you up on ancestry.com, finds out that your great grandmother was banished from her lithuianian village because no one liked her, writes a six page allegorical story that roasts your great grandmother, then reads it to your significant other to get them to despise you
“My mom’s funny that way, celebrating special occasions with blue food. I think it’s her way of saying anything is possible. Percy can pass seventh grade. Waffles can be blue. Little miracles like that.”
PLEASE, everyone google blue waffles right now there are some beautiful pictures there
Man’s worst enemy
The Silent Battle
Lmfao I could not take him seriously in that suit.
Lmfaooooo it’s too early for this!!!
I’m laughing too hard
Will always reblog! Always!
Captioning selfies is harder than taking them
There you go friend!!!
Please take my camera off me
commonly misused words - learn the proper usage of these words to get your way up to any English proficiency exams - IELTS, TOEFL, GRE, etc.
JERKING OFF TO THIS
OH GOD LESS VERSUS FEWER THANK YOU FOR ACKNOWLEDGING MY PERSONAL GRAMMATICAL VENDETTA.
By accident. On purpose. Never on accident.
ALSO, ‘amount’ and ‘number’ follow the same rules as ‘less’ and ‘fewer’, respectively. it’s not an ‘amount’ of people, it’s a number of people; by contrast, it IS an ‘amount of water’, etc.
me: horoscopes are fucking stupid if you believe that shit you’re a fucking—
horoscope: leos are sexy as hell
me: genius bruh these shits are real as fuck amazing how are they so on point all the time